What If I didn't ask to be alone?

Hi. Namaku lila. Iya aku pemilik blog ini. Karena ini blog pribadiku. Aku berhak menulis apa aja kan disini? Aku nulis blog ini lagi-lagi bermodal hape. Karena hotspot lagi gak nangkring ke rumah. Aku anak ke 1 dari 3 bersaudara. Dan sekarang aku sendirian di rumah.
Well, it's really quite here pals. No friends, no food, no one. Only me, with my loneliness. Me, music and memories. My mom, brother and sister have a trip to Makassar. And my Father still in Jakarta. Wish them back to me with a good condition.
You know, I never felt so lonely like this time before. It's really hurtfull, when you remember how important your family when they are beside you and you just ignore them.
I miss my family. I miss my mom, she always cook very delicious food. My mom knows when I was Sick. Mom, I want you to know, I'm sick right now. You are right. I've got fever. And my eyes really hurt.
I miss My dad. I miss how funny his joke is. I miss him when he teach me management. I miss my dad money. He is very generous. I miss my brother. I miss his talk about football and his joke about me. I miss fafa... My little sister. I miss her laugh. Her smile. Her talk. The way she ask me to do something. I miss you. And I cry, I don't know but I can hold my tears.
Hey, I miss you too. I miss the way you always told me about life. Your joke. I miss your eyes. Your emo's hair. I miss your hand. I miss the way we talk about everything on the phone. I miss your kiss. Your voice when you are singing a song to me. I miss when we fight. I miss everything about you... I miss you dear... So much... So much...

I never ask to God to be alone. Never. I never expect this is gonna be so hurtfull. I know life is far from perfection. But if this how I life could be. I'd rather die than live a life alone.
And If life must go on. I don't want to life alone. I know this sentences really right, we don't know what we got until it's gone.
But Why we have to lose a things to know what they are really mean... I wish I could keep what I really have now, even I have nothing except my self.
Poor lila.
Don't send your condelence to me. Cause I never ask it. And I never ask to be alone. But I ask to face this loneliness wisely, strengthly.

Have a Great Life
Lila