I never told you.

I must confess. I really miss you now. I miss you everyday. I don't know when we will meet again. But I miss you all the time. You are the man that I always love, always have always will. I love the way you talk, the way you think, the way you told me something, the way you laugh, the way you sing, the way you tell a joke for me. I hate how I broke up with you. I was incredibly stupid, knowing that you were the one for me. I hate knowing that you and I had something, that I will never ever be able to forget. You were the sweetest man I ever had, you are so cute sometimes, and I confess that you are so handsome. I know, I can't see what you did to me. I can't see everything you did to me. Because I only see that you hates me because I can't be good enough for you. I can't mature enough for you. That's all my fault. But you have to know, that I do everything to be good enough, and be mature enough for you. I love you. I always try to be perfect in front of you. That's why I always silent in a phone, because I scared of you. I scared of what you will think of me. I'm scared of losing you. Yes you are right, I can't be my self in front of you. because I'm scared, I just want to be perfect. But you don't like it. I wanna be my self. But I'm bad person. I'm sorry. What I'm supposed to do? I just need you to accept me as I am. And forget my mistakes, cause if you forget and forgive, we will be better again. I promise. But you never did. You still seeing me wrong.
And All you have to do is make me become your life. You never make me your number one priority, because you have to much to think and care, and me? where is me in your heart? you make me suffer and i can't stand of it..I need your love, like you need my love.  All that I need is we together build our life. No matter what happens, we build it together. Forget our differences, and start build it. But, I think you too scared build a life with me. Too scared of your family, my family, our future. And It will never happens, you never start to build a life.
Now, things are change, but My feeling is still the same for you. I can't move on.. But someday I will move on. I have to move on, for a better life. It can be Move on to you or somebody else. Like you said, soulmate never go anywhere if it is destiny. 
If I'm your destiny, we have to build our life together...
If it is not...
I hope you are happy... and I'm Happy.. even we are not together...
From Juny last year until I wrote this, I still love you...
I'm sorry, I hope we can make it right someday, or I hope our life become much better.




I'm done.