Love is you.

Aku ingat :

Aku ingat cara dia makan yang pasti selalu sisa.
Aku ingat dia yang selalu pesan es teh manis.
Aku ingat dia yang suka banget nescafe kaleng.
Aku ingat dia yang selalu mengatur rambutnya yang depan.
Aku ingat cara dia merokok, yang hanya ia nyalakan lalu ia biarkan sampai mau habis.
Aku ingat tangannya yang bagus dan lurus.
Aku ingat badannya bidang.
Aku ingat hidungnya yang besar dan mancung.
Aku ingat caranya dia memainkan gitarnya dan memandang diriku.
Aku ingat ketawanya yang lucu. Bukan, bukan seperti squidward, tapi seperti anak kecil umur 4 th.
Aku ingat caranya menyanyi dan suara nyanyiannya.
Aku ingat semuanya, aku kangen kamu.

Aku suka :

Aku suka saat dia mulai menceritakan mimpi-mimpinya.
Aku suka saat dia mulai menasehatiku soal kehidupan.
Aku suka saat dia menghiburku saat aku ngambek. :)
Aku suka saat-saat mesraku bersamanya.
Aku suka saat dia menceritakan keluarganya.
Aku sebenernya juga suka saat dia menceritakan mantan2nya, membuatku merasa nomer satu diantara lainnya. ^.^v
Aku suka suara ketawanya.
Aku suka saat dia mengatakan bahwa dia mencintaiku disaat kami mulai mengakhiri pembicaraan di telephone.
Aku suka caranya membuatku kembali bersemangat.
Aku suka caranya menemaniku dalam kesepian.
Aku suka cara dia yg selalu ada buat aku kapanpun aku butuhkan.
Aku suka cara dia berpikir.
Aku suka caranya dia memperlakukan orang lain di sekitarnya.
Aku mengagumi dirinya. Aku sangat mencintainya. :)

Aku ingin :

Aku ingin dia disni bersamaku.
Aku ingin dia sekarang memelukku.
Aku ingin dia menciumku.
Aku ingin dia mengejar mimpinya lagi.
Aku ingin dia yang jadi suamiku.
Aku ingin dia yang jadi cinta terakhirku.
Aku ingin kamu.
Aku ingin Tuhan menjodohkan kamu buat aku.
Aku ingin selamanya sama kamu.

I really love you my dear, love you so much. Please stay with me for whatever happen, for how hard it is to be. Please stay with me, forever :)

130609 - till end.

I never told you.

I must confess. I really miss you now. I miss you everyday. I don't know when we will meet again. But I miss you all the time. You are the man that I always love, always have always will. I love the way you talk, the way you think, the way you told me something, the way you laugh, the way you sing, the way you tell a joke for me. I hate how I broke up with you. I was incredibly stupid, knowing that you were the one for me. I hate knowing that you and I had something, that I will never ever be able to forget. You were the sweetest man I ever had, you are so cute sometimes, and I confess that you are so handsome. I know, I can't see what you did to me. I can't see everything you did to me. Because I only see that you hates me because I can't be good enough for you. I can't mature enough for you. That's all my fault. But you have to know, that I do everything to be good enough, and be mature enough for you. I love you. I always try to be perfect in front of you. That's why I always silent in a phone, because I scared of you. I scared of what you will think of me. I'm scared of losing you. Yes you are right, I can't be my self in front of you. because I'm scared, I just want to be perfect. But you don't like it. I wanna be my self. But I'm bad person. I'm sorry. What I'm supposed to do? I just need you to accept me as I am. And forget my mistakes, cause if you forget and forgive, we will be better again. I promise. But you never did. You still seeing me wrong.
And All you have to do is make me become your life. You never make me your number one priority, because you have to much to think and care, and me? where is me in your heart? you make me suffer and i can't stand of it..I need your love, like you need my love.  All that I need is we together build our life. No matter what happens, we build it together. Forget our differences, and start build it. But, I think you too scared build a life with me. Too scared of your family, my family, our future. And It will never happens, you never start to build a life.
Now, things are change, but My feeling is still the same for you. I can't move on.. But someday I will move on. I have to move on, for a better life. It can be Move on to you or somebody else. Like you said, soulmate never go anywhere if it is destiny. 
If I'm your destiny, we have to build our life together...
If it is not...
I hope you are happy... and I'm Happy.. even we are not together...
From Juny last year until I wrote this, I still love you...
I'm sorry, I hope we can make it right someday, or I hope our life become much better.




I'm done.